3hanafi

first thing first, by asking u all reading this doesnt mean i want ur sympathy. i know some of you are angry with me. sigh.. all i need is ur understanding. i never replied to all of your smses because i'm really broke. not a single cent for me to top up my card. this is how pathetic my life is. never beeen working for the past 2 weeks because my mum was in icu. have to take care of her.. i just started working again.. give me a month from now hopefully april or before mid april i will all of your money. please forgive me and let me fulfill this promises.. again. sigh.. :(

recently, i'm surrounded with DEATH. my closest uncle who is like a father figure to me, passed away. my ite friend his parents passed away.. sigh. i'm scared but at the same time. everyday before i go to sleep. i pray to god, "dear god, please please take life. i cannot withstand all the miserables in my life.. i feel very very wothless.. tired and lonely" old wise say, "there will always be someone to go through all your pains" well to me, there isnt any! in fact people leaving me.. sigh. i'm really lonely now. never been eating much.. simply because no appetite. only last then had a good meal..

people always think that i'm that cheerful and strong guy.. i'm just hiding it so i dont want other to worry for me... sigh. my headache is killing me. need to go home now......

"The loneliest feeling in the world to be crying and no one is there for you."

ps: really hope you guys dont tell anyone about this link

"All By Myself"

" When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
When I dial the telephone
Nobody's home

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore

Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And loves so distant and obscure
Remains the cure

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
All by myself
Anymore

When I was young
I never needed anyone
Making love was just for fun
Those days are gone

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
Oh
Don't wanna live
By myself, by myself
Anymore
By myself
Anymore
Oh
All by myself
Don't wanna live
I never, never, never
Needed anyone "

this is how i'm feeling now..

lonely..

all by myself..

sigh...

"Dying seems less sad than having lived too little."
-Gloria Steinem

i hate myself

i hate myself

i hate myself

i hate myself

i hate myself

i fucking...

hate myself......

sigh..

i don't know how to smile anymore.

i don't know what happy are.

perhaps my definition for happy is, no definition!!

i don't know what to do now..

i don't know who i can talk to.

i rather tell everything on my blog.. sigh. :(

perhaps, i rather keep it to myself. hurting myself.

"dear god,

if see you see this. please take me away from this harsh reality. if you never take me the easy way, i'll go the other way round."'

i no longer strong anymore...

i no longer that mr. happy...




till the end...

goodbye.

i let my razor say the words i can't speak.....